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SOME COP STUFF

I HAVE COLLECTED



POLICE SACRIFICE

While you sleep, we're out there.

When you're sitting down

To Thanksgiving dinner, or celebrating Christmas,

We're out there.

When it's raining and cold,

And you're glad to be in your home with your family,

We're out there.

When it's your children's birthday,

We're out there.

When it's OUR children's birthday,

We're still out there.

You put on a suit and dress to go to work;

We strap on a ballistic vest and a gun.

There is little room for error in your job,

In ours there is none.

An error by you means a demotion;

An error by us means a funeral.

When you tell your families

"See you tonight" as you leave for work,

You mean it.

 When we tell our families that,

We pray we will.

At your job you strive to succeed,

At our job we strive to survive.

In your job,

One bad person is the talk of the office,

In our job;

One bad officer makes the news

And suddenly were all bad.

In these headlines it's not what good we've done,

But how much better it could have been done.

When you're scared

You call us,

When we're scared,

We must carry on.

When you're eating a home cooked meal,

We're having another hamburger.

While you're asleep with your spouse,

Ours sleeps alone.

So the next time you're out with family or friends,

And you see a patrol car go by,

Remember the incredible sacrifice made by these officers every day.

Inside that patrol car

Is a person that sacrifices his or her life,

Both professionally and personally

Every day.

__author unknown__


____JOKE_____

A policeman pulls a driver over for swerving on the highway

and asks him to take a Breathalyzer test.

"I can't do that because I'm asthmatic,"

says the man.

"The Breathalyzer could bring on an attack."

So the cop suggests a urine sample.

"I'm a diabetic, so my urine always has strange stuff in it."

"Well," says the angry cop,

"why don't you just get out of the car and walk this white line?"

"Sorry," says the man, "but I can't do that either."

"Why not?" asks the officer.

The man looks at him and says

"Because I'm drunk."





LET'S SEE IF I UNDERSTAND

The state of personal responsibility

in the America of the 1990s.  

 If a woman burns her thighs

on the hot coffee she was holding in her lap while driving,

he blames the restaurant.

  If your teen-age son kills himself,

you blame the rock 'n' roll musician he liked.

  If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer

your family blames the tobacco company.

  If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain

you blame the school for poor sex education.

  If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk,

you blame the bartender.   

If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot heroin was dirty,

you blame the government for not providing clean ones.

  If your grandchildren are brats without manners,

you blame television.

If your friend is shot by a deranged madman,

you blame the gun manufacturer.

And if your son commits armed robbery,

then shoots the officer that is arresting him

you blame police brutality for his death.

  God bless America, land of the free, home of the blame.

author unknown





______JOKE______

When I went to get my driver's license renewed,

our local Motor Vehicle Bureau was packed.

The line inched along for almost an hour

until the man ahead of me finally got his license.

He inspected his photo for a moment

and commented to the clerk,

"I was standing in line so long,

I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture."

The clerk looked at his picture closely,

and reassured him,

"It's okay. That's how you're going to look

when the cops pull you over anyway."



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